I see so many anti-Valentine’s Day party announcements. Why are people so bitter? When else do you get to use construction paper and glue and glitter to make presents for friends?! Never. That’s when. So what if you’re single? So what if it’s a “Hallmark” holiday? So what if red and pink look horrible together? It’s fun! If anyone wants to have a...
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who...– Isaac Asimov
I am pretty sure “Croatoan” is Lumbee English for “Zombie Attack.”
I looked at a picture of my dad today. It’s strange that the photo seems different than the memory in my head. The eyes are further apart and he looks a little older. The smile is just a little more crooked than what I remember. And I don’t remember those wrinkles starting to form around the eyes. Do pictures age when memories can’t? Or is the picture just clear where my memory...
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All night I lay on my pillow and pray For my boss to stop me in the hallway...– The National Baby, We’ll Be Fine
One of these days my neighbors are going to figure out that I only get up at 5am to vacuum, blast music, and accidentally pound the wall a few times on the mornings after I’m forced to stay up late due to the bass pounding through the wall from their shoddy music.
What Am I Reading?
Yes, everyone. I am still reading “The Zombie Survival Guide.” I have a problem where I only read in bed these days. So I kind of fall asleep about half way through the 4th page. Then I startle myself awake somehow, look back over to where I left off, and try again. Except the second time I startle myself awake, I’ve only advanced about 3 sentences. The 3rd time, I’m...
How would the world be different if people didn’t wait for a disaster to decide to help out others?
Why do people write “no pun intended” after a pun? As soon as you type that, there’s a pun, and you’ve intended to make other people see it. If you didn’t intend for a pun, you’d leave it (without the “no pun intended”) and hope no one notices, or you’d delete what you wrote and type in something else. Something less witty. Something boring. ...
I love it when my coffee comes with a heart on top.
samantherr: A TRUE STORY RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR You know that book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well, here’s a prime example of that. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted). First, the Assignment: English 44A SMU Creative Writing Prof. Miller In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today...
Psychotropics. The Musical.
I made up a song about Seroquel while in Nursing school. No, really. It was kind of a song and dance number. It went… Voices singing in your head (Seroquel! Seroquel!) Telling you to make everybody dead (Seroquel! Seroquel!) Well don’t you know they have pills for that? The down side is they make you fat. But at least you’re not crazy anymore! Yup. My other car is a hand...
You know, the only thing worse than a sore loser is a vainglorious winner.
My Iron Cupcake Experience
I love baking. Love it. My secret dream is to own my own little cafe/bakery/bistro… thing. Or have a cooking show. Or something. Dreams like that need determination, dedication, and a lot of start up cash. I think right now, I’m pretty happy being a nurse. My coworkers seem to enjoy my baking, and there’s not a lot of pressure. It’s just fun, and it makes people happy. So,...
I Love Infomercials
I have a secret. I like watching infomercials. When they come on while I’m at the gym, that’s it. I’m hooked. I like watching infomercials because I see things like the Hula Chair and, my personal favorite, the abtronic, and I get to laugh at the idea that, somewhere, someone is thinking omfg!! I’ll bet that actually works! Especially since Chuck Norris is using it. His tears...
I expel a mouth full of smoke and contemplate what a weird town New York is....– Waiter Rant » The Privacy of Smoke (via bananza)
People live in Wisconsin because the lifestyle is easy – family is here,...– Penelope Trunk’s Brazen Careerist (via bananza) Yup.
How To Woo A Nerdy Girl
samantherr: fantasticness: fuckyeahstartrek: shan139: (Kudos to www.theparkbencher.blogspot.com for this one! It’s funny how many of these apply to me…) Tip #1: Know where to look. The number one thing to know about nerdy girls — they’re probably not going to be doing body shots at the local sports bar on a Friday night. If they’re out partying, it’s over a micro-brewed pale ale in the...
Telling people you have smallpox is like… Well… I guess there is no acceptable metaphor. I realize I didn’t blur my name the first time. My bad.
How long ago did you live at Clovis NM? Oh boy. Breaking out the TI-83+ for this one… I think it’s been about 10 years since I escaped that speck on the map. Sophomore year of high school ended and then I was gone. Loved the people I met. Loved marching band. Loved Allsup’s popcorn chicken. Loved a lot of things. Except the actual living there part. I am...
Never Need a Reason, Never Need a Rhyme. Step in... →
In March of 2009, at the urging of a coworker, I stepped into my very first Step Aerobics class. I didn’t really know what to expect. I’d been at LA Fitness for about a month at that time, and tried…
You like to read. Which character in which book have you identified with the most? This is a tough one. I don’t really have a tendency to identify with the characters I read about. Certainly, I find a few character traits we have in common, and it makes me feel more connected to that character. I may find myself wishing I had more things in common with said character....