January 2012
27 posts
2 tags
Call to Milwaukee Police Department to request a wellness check on a client. They ask for my name and phone number so they can get back to me. Instead of getting back to me, they let the person’s caregiver know I requested police intervention and give out my contact information.
This is why people don’t report things.
2 tags
Me and Einley Should Just Write a Book
sarah: it has swearing. I hope you are ok with that.
Genevieve: OMG that made me spit on my phone!
sarah: Fucking mission fucking accomplished.
Genevieve: I just tweeted it as an OH
sarah: I just starred it as a star.
Genevieve: You keep making me spit
sarah: Into a bucket, I hope.
Genevieve: You should retweet it so I can star it
sarah: We can have a priest bless it later. Holy spit. Bottle and sell it.
Genevieve: And I died
3 tags
7 tags
A Letter to My Representatives
I have 3 Representatives: House Representative Gwen Moore, Senator Herb Kohl, and Senator Ron Johnson. A variation of this letter has been sent to each of them, and I encourage you to send your own letter to your own representatives.
To My Representative:
Liberty: The state of being free within a society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life.
Our Founding...
8 tags
1 tag
I’m renewing my lease again.
And I’ve had the same, degree-related, grown-up, non-pack-and-ship-pro-what-can-brown-do-for-you job for 3 years and 5 days now.
This is possibly the most stable I’ve been since I turned 18.
I think I might be turning into a goddamn adult.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat cheese and crackers before bed. After brushing my...
2 tags
That tiny flash of memory you can’t grasp that lets you know you’ve forgotten what you dreamed.
6 tags
Mike O'Neal, Kansas House Speaker, Emails Prayer... →
Mike O’Neal sends out an email calling Psalm 109.8 a perfect prayer for Barack Obama.
Psalm 109.8 states:
“May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership.”
Let’s cast aside the fact that this is straight from a bumper sticker, like 99% of America’s political views.
This email caused a bit of outrage on the internet, calling for Mike...
5 tags
Einley And I Discuss Our Upcoming Self Defense/Gun...
sarah: We will be one step closer to becoming actual vigilantes. :)
Genevieve: I am so excited!
sarah: Me too!
sarah: omg it's gonna be a conceal carry class too. It's the whole Shebang!
Genevieve: EPIGLOTTIS!
Genevieve: WHICH WAS
Genevieve: WOOHOO
sarah: We'll need costumes after!
Genevieve: before it autocorrected
sarah: With capes!
sarah: WE'RE GONNA BE BIG DAMN HEROES!
Genevieve: fuck yeah!
2 tags
3 tags
Today the kid downstairs called me fat. And then laughed. And then got sent to his room.
Then he came out of his room, walked up to me, and kissed my cheek. I told him thank you. To which he replied
“When I kiss girls at school they always say ‘eeww’.”
So he calls me fat and then admits to cheating on me.
Such a charming 4-year-old.
5 tags
gchat with Einley
sarah: I'm sorry your kid got detention. :( I colored in text books when I was younger too. And I kicked a boy in the nuts because he cut me in line. I turned out ok, I think.
Genevieve: He's worse than that, but thanks :-)
sarah: oh man.
sarah: I also stole a candy bar from the store.
sarah: And I stole a roll of wallpaper.
sarah: And I marked things wrong on purpose when we graded each others papers, just to be a jerk.
sarah: "Oh. That was a 4? I thought it was a 9. Because you didn't make the 4 the right way. Sorry."
sarah: I also got detention for climbing the... fountain... sink.. thing in the bathroom.
Genevieve: I love you
sarah: I mixed mud and told kids smaller than me it was chocolate pudding.
sarah: But the best thing I ever did was tell my brother that the pink panther insulation was cotton candy.
sarah: So anyway. You're not a bad parent.
sarah: :)
Genevieve: Omg!
sarah: ok so the mud and cotton candy thing... I wasn't really trying to be mean. I was just being really imaginative and wasn't really very good at the line between real and imaginary and everyone else wasn't on my side of the line.
Genevieve: Exactly
You can't be friends with a memory.
4 tags
Santorum Tells Kids With Gay Parents: You’d Be... →
My own religious views aside, when you are as close-minded as Rick Santorum, you are not worshiping “God”. You are worshiping an idol you’ve created out of your own beliefs. False idol worship. I don’t think your Holy Bible makes any mention of that… Rick Santorum is putting his lust for power and obsession for promoting hate in the name of his idol in front of any...
1 tag
No point in hanging on to something you can’t fix.
3 tags
3 tags
I dare you to watch Everything is Illuminated and not yell out “I WILL TAKE THE RING!”
1 tag
4 tags
I Love Bandwagons
I don’t make New Years Resolutions. I get an idea in my head, and I jump on it. I don’t wait for a new beginning, or whatever the idea behind saving up goals for the next 12-month cycle is. I’m impulsive and, as long as I can keep myself from pulling fire alarms just because they’re there, that’s something I’m ok with.
So, having not made any resolutions going...
3 tags
4 tags
And Jesus said “go out into the world and make disciples.” And the people went out into the world holding their moral compasses aloft, giving praise and glory to their superiority complexes in the name of the Lord. And Jesus wept. Amen.
3 tags
Brother: Thanks a lot.
Me: What?
Brother: Went to Walmart to pick up meds and Natasha sat in the cart the whole time screaming "We got to go back to the island!"
Me: I am so proud!
Brother: Shut up.
4 tags
Sarah and Alicia draw a picture.
Alicia: Should we draw a ball dropping?
Sarah: Yes. But the ball should be a meteor because we drew a dinosaur.
Alicia: Oh my God. You're a genius. How's that?
Sarah: It needs some red and yellow.
Alicia: He shouldn't be smiling though if a meteor is coming at him.
Sarah: Yes he should. He has a brain the size of a peanut. He doesn't know what a meteor is.
Alicia: That's a good point. And it's fitting it's his end times because now it's our end times.
Sarah: The picture symbolizes foreshadowing.
Alicia: Wow we got really deep with this crayon picture.
December 2011
23 posts
3 tags
In 2012 I resolve to:
Count every calorie. Fake more smiles. Rejoice over every pound lost. Care more. Do things I’m actually pretty indifferent about because someone said I should. Lament over every ounce gained. Save more receipts. Use a calculator when preparing dinner. Weigh my food more than I weigh myself. Tiny scales are cute. Buy more paper to make more lists. Sacrifice things I enjoy for a year so my...
4 tags
Jurassic Park Instrumental Musics
Ominous.
Suspenseful.
Sweeping.
Light.
Soft.
Gripping.
Tender.
Sentimental.
Tense.
Dramatic.
Triumphant.
Serene.
Mooing in Terror.
4 tags
I'm going to Mordor alone.
Of course you are! And I'm coming with you!
4 tags
Merry?
What?
I'm hungry.
4 tags
5 tags
Airport Texts With the Sister
Sarah: Tons of traffic. Could be days. Meet us in baggage claim.
Christina: Got our bags. Where are you now?
Sarah: We gave up and went home.
Christina: Ok. We're gonna work the streets then.
Sarah: Oh good. Because I know a guy looking for hookers and blow.
5 tags
How to Get Your Pack Rat Mother to Get Rid of...
Me: Mom, you know where bedbugs love hiding? Old papers.
Mom: So?
Me: So, I'm just saying. How long has that case of books been sitting, unused, in the garage?
Mom: Fine. Get rid of them.
4 tags
I love the stillness of sitting alone in a room with Christmas lights. The glow of the lights, the quiet of the air. The feeling like time has reversed and then stopped in a moment where everything just felt right.
5 Gifts of Being Highly Sensitive (World of... →
samantherr:
by Therese Borchard
Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Douglas Eby, M.A./Psychology, who is a writer and researcher on the psychology of creative expression, high ability and personal growth. He is creator of the Talent Development Resources series of sites (including HighlySensitive.org) at http://talentdevelop.com. I know many of you are “highly sensitive” and enjoy...
2 tags
So my neighbor is a Whole Foods Coffee Artist...
Kelly: Enjoy your latte, Sarah. I made it extra special for you.
Me: Is there brandy in it?
Kelly: No. They don't let me keep that back here anymore. Not since the... incident.
Me: Oh yeah. When all those people died.
Behind Me: Can we get our coffee to go?
3 tags
Liam: Mom, I don't want to go to school tomorrow.
Kelly: What are you gonna do then? Get a job? Because that's your other option.
Sarah: Yup. But you have to go to work in China because that's illegal in this country.
Kelly: Yeah. They make shirts like the one you're wearing. In fact, that's probably where your shirt is from.
4 tags
5 tags
4 tags
Typical Sunday Night at Alicia's
Me: Alicia. Eat the bacon.
Alicia: No I don't eat animals. Plus I'm Jewish!
Me: Hashem would eat that bacon.
Alicia: No he wouldn't. He doesn't even eat!
Me: Well. Wait. What about all those sacrifices. You're saying he doesn't eat lambs and first born sons?
3 tags
