February 2012
6 posts
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“Hard to tell them apart sometimes. Walruses and seals. And sea lions. And there...”
– Garrison Keillor, A Prairie Home Companion
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“Let’s talk about coffee. Herbal tea is okay if your name is Dandelion and...”
– Garrison Keillor, A Prairie Home Companion
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Oh, Politics...
Alright, look. I’m probably an Anarchist, ok? As much as I go on and on about hating people, I actually believe that We the People have potential to be powerful, and can accomplish a lot when left to Our own devices.
Do I believe that’s how our country should be?
Fuck no. I said We the People have potential. We the People are currently idiots, and probably always will be. I still...
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January 2012
31 posts
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Anyone seen this show on Netflix called “Rebuffering”? Is it any good?
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Sometimes I see comments on a friend’s Facebook status left by people who used to be mutual friends, and I feel a little sad that I don’t still have those same friendships.
Then I remember that some people once let me know that my tendency towards isolation when I was “moody” made them “uncomfortable” and they “didn’t want to talk to me when I was...
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Call to Milwaukee Police Department to request a wellness check on a client. They ask for my name and phone number so they can get back to me. Instead of getting back to me, they let the person’s caregiver know I requested police intervention and give out my contact information.
This is why people don’t report things.
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Me and Einley Should Just Write a Book
sarah: it has swearing. I hope you are ok with that.
Genevieve: OMG that made me spit on my phone!
sarah: Fucking mission fucking accomplished.
Genevieve: I just tweeted it as an OH
sarah: I just starred it as a star.
Genevieve: You keep making me spit
sarah: Into a bucket, I hope.
Genevieve: You should retweet it so I can star it
sarah: We can have a priest bless it later. Holy spit. Bottle and sell it.
Genevieve: And I died
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A Letter to My Representatives
I have 3 Representatives: House Representative Gwen Moore, Senator Herb Kohl, and Senator Ron Johnson. A variation of this letter has been sent to each of them, and I encourage you to send your own letter to your own representatives.
To My Representative:
Liberty: The state of being free within a society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life.
Our Founding...
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I’m renewing my lease again.
And I’ve had the same, degree-related, grown-up, non-pack-and-ship-pro-what-can-brown-do-for-you job for 3 years and 5 days now.
This is possibly the most stable I’ve been since I turned 18.
I think I might be turning into a goddamn adult.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat cheese and crackers before bed. After brushing my...
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That tiny flash of memory you can’t grasp that lets you know you’ve forgotten what you dreamed.
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Mike O'Neal, Kansas House Speaker, Emails Prayer... →
Mike O’Neal sends out an email calling Psalm 109.8 a perfect prayer for Barack Obama.
Psalm 109.8 states:
“May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership.”
Let’s cast aside the fact that this is straight from a bumper sticker, like 99% of America’s political views.
This email caused a bit of outrage on the internet, calling for Mike...
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Einley And I Discuss Our Upcoming Self Defense/Gun...
sarah: We will be one step closer to becoming actual vigilantes. :)
Genevieve: I am so excited!
sarah: Me too!
sarah: omg it's gonna be a conceal carry class too. It's the whole Shebang!
Genevieve: EPIGLOTTIS!
Genevieve: WHICH WAS
Genevieve: WOOHOO
sarah: We'll need costumes after!
Genevieve: before it autocorrected
sarah: With capes!
sarah: WE'RE GONNA BE BIG DAMN HEROES!
Genevieve: fuck yeah!
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Today the kid downstairs called me fat. And then laughed. And then got sent to his room.
Then he came out of his room, walked up to me, and kissed my cheek. I told him thank you. To which he replied
“When I kiss girls at school they always say ‘eeww’.”
So he calls me fat and then admits to cheating on me.
Such a charming 4-year-old.
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gchat with Einley
sarah: I'm sorry your kid got detention. :( I colored in text books when I was younger too. And I kicked a boy in the nuts because he cut me in line. I turned out ok, I think.
Genevieve: He's worse than that, but thanks :-)
sarah: oh man.
sarah: I also stole a candy bar from the store.
sarah: And I stole a roll of wallpaper.
sarah: And I marked things wrong on purpose when we graded each others papers, just to be a jerk.
sarah: "Oh. That was a 4? I thought it was a 9. Because you didn't make the 4 the right way. Sorry."
sarah: I also got detention for climbing the... fountain... sink.. thing in the bathroom.
Genevieve: I love you
sarah: I mixed mud and told kids smaller than me it was chocolate pudding.
sarah: But the best thing I ever did was tell my brother that the pink panther insulation was cotton candy.
sarah: So anyway. You're not a bad parent.
sarah: :)
Genevieve: Omg!
sarah: ok so the mud and cotton candy thing... I wasn't really trying to be mean. I was just being really imaginative and wasn't really very good at the line between real and imaginary and everyone else wasn't on my side of the line.
Genevieve: Exactly
You can't be friends with a memory.
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Santorum Tells Kids With Gay Parents: You’d Be... →
My own religious views aside, when you are as close-minded as Rick Santorum, you are not worshiping “God”. You are worshiping an idol you’ve created out of your own beliefs. False idol worship. I don’t think your Holy Bible makes any mention of that… Rick Santorum is putting his lust for power and obsession for promoting hate in the name of his idol in front of any...
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No point in hanging on to something you can’t fix.
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I dare you to watch Everything is Illuminated and not yell out “I WILL TAKE THE RING!”
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I Love Bandwagons
I don’t make New Years Resolutions. I get an idea in my head, and I jump on it. I don’t wait for a new beginning, or whatever the idea behind saving up goals for the next 12-month cycle is. I’m impulsive and, as long as I can keep myself from pulling fire alarms just because they’re there, that’s something I’m ok with.
So, having not made any resolutions going...
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And Jesus said “go out into the world and make disciples.” And the people went out into the world holding their moral compasses aloft, giving praise and glory to their superiority complexes in the name of the Lord. And Jesus wept. Amen.
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Brother: Thanks a lot.
Me: What?
Brother: Went to Walmart to pick up meds and Natasha sat in the cart the whole time screaming "We got to go back to the island!"
Me: I am so proud!
Brother: Shut up.
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Sarah and Alicia draw a picture.
Alicia: Should we draw a ball dropping?
Sarah: Yes. But the ball should be a meteor because we drew a dinosaur.
Alicia: Oh my God. You're a genius. How's that?
Sarah: It needs some red and yellow.
Alicia: He shouldn't be smiling though if a meteor is coming at him.
Sarah: Yes he should. He has a brain the size of a peanut. He doesn't know what a meteor is.
Alicia: That's a good point. And it's fitting it's his end times because now it's our end times.
Sarah: The picture symbolizes foreshadowing.
Alicia: Wow we got really deep with this crayon picture.
December 2011
23 posts
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In 2012 I resolve to:
Count every calorie. Fake more smiles. Rejoice over every pound lost. Care more. Do things I’m actually pretty indifferent about because someone said I should. Lament over every ounce gained. Save more receipts. Use a calculator when preparing dinner. Weigh my food more than I weigh myself. Tiny scales are cute. Buy more paper to make more lists. Sacrifice things I enjoy for a year so my...
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Jurassic Park Instrumental Musics
Ominous.
Suspenseful.
Sweeping.
Light.
Soft.
Gripping.
Tender.
Sentimental.
Tense.
Dramatic.
Triumphant.
Serene.
Mooing in Terror.
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I'm going to Mordor alone.
Of course you are! And I'm coming with you!
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Merry?
What?
I'm hungry.
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Airport Texts With the Sister
Sarah: Tons of traffic. Could be days. Meet us in baggage claim.
Christina: Got our bags. Where are you now?
Sarah: We gave up and went home.
Christina: Ok. We're gonna work the streets then.
Sarah: Oh good. Because I know a guy looking for hookers and blow.
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How to Get Your Pack Rat Mother to Get Rid of...
Me: Mom, you know where bedbugs love hiding? Old papers.
Mom: So?
Me: So, I'm just saying. How long has that case of books been sitting, unused, in the garage?
Mom: Fine. Get rid of them.
